Finding Our Way Home
December 2016: Finding Our Way Home
My first words of welcome floated visibly in the frigid air of St. Aidan’s Chapel in Bolinas. Six people, two known by me and four new faces, circled round the Episcopal altar of Christian saints and sacred objects. The tiny stone A-frame structure either had no heating system at all, or it was broken. But, we managed to sit zazen together for thirty freezing minutes until I rang a bell and bowed to everyone. Then, we smiled shyly at each other, introduced ourselves, read the Precepts together, talked and shivered, drank peppermint tea, said “nice to meet you, thank you, and goodbye.”
Pam Dake, a Bolinas resident, had asked me to come teach in her community after I served as the Shuso (head student) of Everyday Zen in the autumn months of 2016. When I asked my teacher, Norman Fischer, if I could accept her invitation and start a little sangha called Heart of Compassion Zen in kinship with Everyday Zen , he agreed. Of the original six, four continued to attend with some consistency, four new people and then more appeared. But the temperature inside the church was somewhat discouraging….
After six months of Bolinas meetings, we moved to a warm room with a fireplace at St. Colombos’s Episcopal Retreat Center in Inverness. New participants from Point Reyes Station and other Marin towns joined us. We sat together in front of a sometimes smoky fireplace - some of us seated on the orange plaid shag carpet, others on lumpy rectory couches. We did kinhin in a narrow hallway, listened to dharma talks, talked about our spiritual lives, drank tea, and practiced Chi Gong on the outdoor deck led by Bing Gong. Eventually, we outgrew the warm room, and ended up trying to meet in another freezing cold sanctuary.
With the help of Steve Costa and others, we were able to finally move to the consistently warm and lovely Point Reyes Presbyterian Church in 2018. The Heart of Compassion Zen Sangha began to assemble a collection of our own sacred objects - a Buddha gifted by Jay Simoneaux, a hand-stitched blue-and red-and gold altar cloth from Hawaiian dharma sister, June Tanahoe Hawaiian, a copper ashtray from my parents living room coffee table repurposed as an incense bowl, a precious sangha stone, candles and a statue of our inspirational Bodhisattva Kwan Yin. For several weeks, we brought stacks of magazines and spread them out on tables in the church Fellowship Hall to create Chant Books with collage covers. Finally, Esther Nichols organized and laminated them so beautifully they will last for a hundred years.
Thanks to Myn Adess we established a checking account to keep our dana funds safe. Marty joined us, then Larry and Sally appeared, and William and Theresa, Peter and Laura, Claire, Tony and Gail, Mary Christy-Cirillo and Dahlia. Sym and Eden joined. Eleanore Despina brought flowers from their garden, and Bing tried to continue offering Chi Gong in the parking lot. Harmony Grisman sang to us……so many generous appearances and offerings from those early days, too many to remember and name, overflowing with memories and gratitude.
Finding our way home …. the comings and goings of sangha life continuously teaching us about impermanence, the mysteries of spiritual practice, and the power of love.
Late December 2018: Preparing to Meet The Ancestors
As I cut my hair and pack a heavy suitcase of woolen winter robes for the three-month Practice Period at Tassajara beginning the first week of January 2019, I feel how the Heart of Compassion sangha holds our relationships – our precious practice – with strong hands and tender hearts.
Then, turning my gaze into the empty mirror, surprised at the image of a familiar-looking person with a newly shaved head, I wonder – who are you?